


you and god both got the guns

by Jacynon



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Character Study, During Canon, F/F, Obsessive Behavior, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 13:47:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13009122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacynon/pseuds/Jacynon
Summary: As Tsumugi stands back up and leans in, tracing the lines of Angie's face on the screen, she realizes that she hasn't created a monster. Instead, she's created an angel, and that feels so much worse. Perhaps God has made those kinds of mistakes before. But she doubts it.





	you and god both got the guns

Throughout the entirety of her career, Tsumugi Shirogane has never once wavered.

She didn't get this far by being indecisive, after all. It's not like anyone she's worked for or with over the years would have accepted her if she was any less determined, any less fixated on her end goal. It's taken hard labor and a lot of passion for her to get to where she is today and no random kids are going to take that away from her, no matter how hopeful their speeches are or how convincing their worry over others turns out to be. It all means nothing in the end.

And she knows for a fact that it means nothing because this is a world that she created. She's playing a role. She's becoming a character.

What part of that character is her?

What part is just someone she's created?

There's no way to be sure, and she doesn't care.

She's gotten this far by being her fakest possible self and going by what the Tsumugi she's written herself as would do and how she would act.

Even this little _'Student Council'_ is something that's technically still on-script. It's to be expected that the girl known as Angie Yonaga would eventually try to push her agenda on the others, especially with how fast the killing game's been moving in comparison to earlier seasons. Angie taking action in trying to be a _savior_ of sorts and calm the situation down was an inevitability from the start - she was written to be a bit of wild card, after all. Someone to spice up the game in an unexpected way.

Well, unexpected for the audience, in any case.

It was originally hard for Tsumugi to decide which direction she wanted to take her own character in. Whether she'd oppose the Student Council with Shuuichi and the others who she's sure will likely make it to the end, or be utterly drawn in and succumb to Angie's disguised and misguided wishes.

Her ultimate choice, like all others, was calculated. She knew that adding more fuel to the fire would make the game less predictable. That siding with Angie would give her more power and make things much more interesting, as well as increase the tension between everyone and make it that much more likely that a murder will occur, regardless of whether the motive is used or not. No part of Tsumugi was actually taken in by the apparent words of God, of course. She consciously chose to express her belief in an unknowable deity for the sake of her career. If anything, it was a business decision.

So, she ponders to herself as she looks in the bathroom mirror, why there's a tightening in her chest.

Why she can't stand to be in the same room as that blinding girl without feeling elated and infatuated, why those eyes are constantly on her mind even when she's trying to focus on her show. She's not sure what this is. A crush? Not possible. At least, not in the conventional sense. Tsumugi thinks to herself that she can't have an actual crush on someone who isn't even real. Then again, nothing about the situation she's made here is entirely conventional.

Is this what it means to have a favorite among your characters?

Sure, some of them fascinated her more than others while in the process of creating their personalities. And sure, Tsumugi definitely felt that a few stood out more than others in how much potential they have. But she doesn't remember thinking much of Angie while making her. She doesn't remember wanting to be embraced forever by those accepting and loving arms. There are moments that Tsumugi wants to go and cut Angie open herself so that no one else can get to her first. Is that normal?

It's not like it matters whether it is or not.

Isn't she allowed to be possessive over her own creations?

Tsumugi takes to herself in the hidden room and inhales deeply, trying to ground herself in a reality that no longer exists nor appeals to her. She ignores the joking and mocking taunts of Motherkuma, not even in the mood to banter with something that's essentially a mix of herself and the ringleaders of the past, and she stares intently at one of the screens.

"Show me what Angie's doing right now."

It flickers, just for a moment, before complying.

Angie Yonaga is praying.

There's a bile irritation building in Tsumugi's stomach and she takes a seat on the red cot in the middle of the room and crosses her legs, gaze still fixated on Angie's closed eyes and her intertwined fingers. She looks both at peace and in deep concentration, though it's hard to tell exactly what or who she's praying for. It's in this moment that Tsumugi not only understands the jealousy that Tenko feels in regards to Himiko, but fully empathizes with it. Not in the exact same way, obviously, but there _are_ shocking similarities.

As Tsumugi stands back up and leans in, tracing the lines of Angie's face on the screen, she realizes that she hasn't created a monster. Instead, she's created an angel, and that feels so much worse. Perhaps God has made those kinds of mistakes before. But she doubts it.

 _I made you,_ she thinks vehemently, a finger pressing her glasses up against her face so hard it hurts the edges of her eyes and a palm covering her open mouth. _I put so much thought and care and love into making you. If anyone's your God, it's me._

_It's me._

* * *

To be perfectly honest, Tsumugi should've seen this coming.

Double-murder chapters always happen. And Angie was getting in the way of the narrative, so of course she was inevitably going to be either a culprit or a victim. It's just that Tsumugi would've put her money on the first possibility. Or that could just have been wishful thinking.

Maybe she really wanted Angie to stick around long enough to be a killer. But that clearly isn't what happened.

The fanatic characters never last. They're not supposed to. Well, there _was_ the one in the thirty-fourth game, she vaguely recalls. But he wasn't quite so vocal about his beliefs, nor did he actively try to indoctrinate anyone. Though the traditionally religious ones, the ones who try to use their faith to influence the killing game one way or another, have practically never made it to the end. It certainly makes sense why - that sort of thing looks bad on TV if it's overplayed. Best to get that controversy out of the way as soon as possible.

Angie wasn't built to last. She was a character written to be killed off.

Yeah, that's all she was. Tsumugi is a writer and Angie is a character who needed to be killed off to serve her intended purpose to the story. So, why would Tsumugi be upset about that? If she didn't want the girl to die, she wouldn't have written her that way. Right? _Right?_

Right.

 _I should've killed her myself when I had the chance,_ the thought runs through her head before she even understands it. _I should've been the last one she saw before she died._

But Angie didn't see anyone just before she died, did she? She'd been knocked out by Korekiyo without even seeing it coming, without warning that it would be her last moments. And then she'd been carried away like the delicate flower she very much both was and wasn't, only to be killed without ever again waking. It's a fairly anticlimactic death for someone who's been developed and focused on so heavily. That might be how the audience sees it.

If that's the case, Tsumugi may have gotten a bit carried away. Her own biases towards her characters could have left her making the story worse without realizing it.

But there's nothing to be done about it now.

Because Angie is dead and there's no bringing her back.

"She kind of thought of herself as an oracle, huh?" Motherkuma's voice booms across the walls, but Tsumugi only hears it in the back of her mind. "Hey, hey, let's put angel wings on her portrait! Her fans'll love it!"

_Her fans._

Yeah, that's not a bad idea.

Such a _dear_ messiah, immortalized like the angel she should've been seen as.

Was she really a messiah, or was she a pariah? Those two are supposed to be opposites, but when it comes to Angie, there might not be a difference.

Even now, Tsumugi's not sure if there really is a God. But wherever Angie's soul goes, Tsumugi hopes without an ounce of mockery or sarcasm that it's able to at least find the illusion of heaven. Yet she doesn't have time to falsely pray, or to mourn the loss of someone she knows she had a hand in both birthing and killing, no matter the light and warmth Angie's brief existence brought into Tsumugi's otherwise cold and hollow chest. Tsumugi also doesn't have time to wax poetic.

There's nothing you can do when the sun goes out.

Okay, _now_ she's done.

She gives a little humorless giggle and wonders if she can weave any of that into her dialog for later scenes. Though she's sure it'll feel empty when she ends up saying any of it, she has faith in her own abilities and knows she doesn't have to try too hard to be convincing.

Yeah. There's still meaning in Tsumugi's life. There's still a lot of work to be done.

This little setback doesn't mean anything.

The next time she cries over Angie's death in front of Himiko, she tries to ignore how easy it is to allow the tears to flow, and chalks it up to her good acting.


End file.
